Cognitive dissonance sounds like a mouthful but it’s a fascinating concept and one that, unknowingly, you’ve been practicing all your life.

When you see something in a shop and you want it but it’s just too expensive and you can’t afford it, have you ever convinced yourself that:

• it wasn’t that great anyway
• it didn’t fit you that well
• you don’t need it anyway because you have one nearly like this at home

It might all be true but, often, it’s just a lie.

So why do we do this?

To downgrade the importance of the item and get over the fact that we couldn’t have it.

This small lie is, in psychology terms, the effect of Cognitive Dissonance.

Cognitive Dissonance happens when our thoughts, feelings and behaviors are in conflict.

We say or do something that goes against our values and what we think. Or we have several conflicting thoughts at the same time. In our example, we want something we cannot have.

This internal conflict is uncomfortable and we’ll end up changing something to find harmony: our thoughts or our actions.

How To Use Cognitive Dissonance To Your Advantage

In the example above, we changed our thoughts, but let’s look at another couple of examples to give you some more ideas of where an understanding of this concept could be useful.

1. Notice Cognitive Dissonance And Choose The Best Outcome For You

Next time you feel some discomfort because of conflicting thoughts or actions not meeting your values, realize you’re experiencing Cognitive Dissonance and that something in you is going to change as a result.

Next, try to notice how this conflict came about. Did somebody say something that influenced you and caused confusion?

You can now influence what’s going to change in you to resolve the dissonance so the change happens for the better and not the worse.

This is how you can challenge your limiting beliefs: by finding examples where they were not true. Check our article on limiting beliefs where we also cover how to create new positive and empowering beliefs to replace the ones that limit us.

2. Trigger Cognitive Dissonance When You Want To Kick Out Unhealthy Habits

Sometimes, you might want to introduce some cognitive dissonance to push a change in you.

Let’s take the example of eating disorder or smoking.

You know it is not good for you at all but you have created some beliefs that support your behaviors (thin people look good, smoking once in a while is harmless,…).

You’re in harmony between your behavior and your beliefs. So this time, you need to trigger the dissonance in order to change your unhealthy habit. A way to do this is to spend some time regularly criticizing your beliefs (do it in a journal or speak to someone): thin people look unwell, smoking even a little will make you ill.

LIttle by little, you will create a new belief which is in conflict with your behavior. To resolve the dissonance, you will accept to change your behavior.

This method is incremental and repetitive.

This method has been tested and proven by research and shows better results (and long-lasting results) than explaining the benefits of healthy eating and monitoring.

A Word Of Caution

Do not use Cognitive Dissonance for self-justification.

It is very easy to reinforce negative behaviors, thoughts and beliefs if, whenever you experience Cognitive Dissonance, you just decide to ignore the new inconvenient thought you’re faced with. This is called selective exposure whereby we only expose ourselves to the beliefs that make our behavior seems congruent. We avoid opposing thoughts in order to decrease dissonance.

Selective Exposure happens in the case of abusive or fading relationships, commitment to a job that’s no longer suited, support to certain politicians even after they’ve been found dishonest …

We tend to ignore the new facts (or diminish their importance or doubt their veracity) and stick to our previous choices because the truth would just be too hard to take.

Well…. I guess it’s time to smell the coffee, grow up and have a more mature honest attitude towards who we are and what’s good for us.

Now you know about Cognitive Dissonance, let it work for you and not against you.

In the follow-up article, I’ll cover how Cognitive Dissonance can be used to influence others and how to be wary of it.